For the last month, I’ve been asked the same question at least a dozen times. Are you going to Canada for the girls? No, I’m not. And I’ll tell you why. There are two types of connection: physical and emotional. Physical connection is good enough for the first couple of dates, but to continue after that, there has to be some type of emotional connection. Getting with girls abroad is not that difficult. Alcohol and physical attraction can carry things a surprisingly long way.

It is very difficult to establish an emotional connection without language. In college I knew this kid who would play and sing the latest rock ballads on his guitar. Girls would sometimes cry during his performances. I did not learn how to play the guitar, but I did look at communication in a different way. The importance of language did not hit me until I met one Eastern European girl. That was when it became obvious that words can do what looks alone never can.

She was the same age as me, with short blonde hair, and a type of nonstop laugh that makes you think you have a really good sense of humor. She was fluent in English. She wanted to hear a story, so I told her a personal love story that did not have a happy ending. Telling her this story caused me to relive it once more, and I looked in her eyes and saw tears. That showed me what words can do. I saw that she was feeling something beyond polite interest.

Music is one way of doing this, language the other. Out of all the tricks I know to increase a girl’s physical arousal, none can touch the power that mere words have, that a story has. Will I take advantage of sexual opportunities in Canada? Yes. Will I be on the lookout for a serious relationship? No. If you can’t make it work with your own people, love abroad is more fantasy than reality. Unless, of course, you are trying to become fluent in the place you are going to.